


Poisoned Apple

by KatieTaylor



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Crime Scenes, Dialogue-Only, Humor, Vignette
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 18:05:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5301455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatieTaylor/pseuds/KatieTaylor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Danny have a crime scene-gument about fairy tales and murder weapons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poisoned Apple

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, probably slightly out of character, but I still had fun. :)
> 
> I'm picking away at NaNoWriMo. Our region has an 'apple challenge' every year (because we grow a lot of apples here). This year we had to use a 'literary apple'. This is my attempt. I thought I'd experiment with some dialogue only fun.

"God damn it. I hate when you can smell the crime scene before you even enter the fucking house."

"You think this is bad? I should tell you about—"

"No. No you should not. Animal."

"What have I told you about sticking your finger in my face?"

"Not to do it. What have I told you about bossing me around, huh?"

"But I _am_ your boss."

"My question stands."

"Gentlemen. Good morning."

"Morning, Max. Oh Christ, tell me that's not the murder weapon."

"Where? What?"

"There, you Neanderthal. How did you even get into the Navy, being so blind, let alone become some hot shot SEAL?"

"You think I'm hot?"

"That's your take away? Anyway, there – the half eaten apple by her hand."

"The apple."

"Yes, the apple."

"You immediately go to the apple as the murder weapon."

"Have you never seen Snow White, Steven?"

"Uh... oh! That's the one with the hot chick with the black hair and the seven guys—"

"What! What is that look?"

"Danny, I do not have a look. Would you—"

"You do! You have a look. It's a.. for crying out loud, you idiot. Not that movie! You have just ruined my precious daughter's favourite movie for me. Thank you for that."

"Excuse me for interrupting Commander, Detective. I believe I have discovered a more plausible cause of death."

"Huh. Look at that."

"Ligature marks."

"How observant of you. Yes, ligature marks."

"Observant, Danno? Mr. Maybe-the-apple-did-it."

"Shut up."

"You should bag it anyway. Just in case."

"Shut. Up."

"Perhaps she was strangled with a really long braid."

"Shut up."

"We should look for puncture wounds."

"That's better, babe.  You think this might be drug related?"

"Spinning wheel."

"Fuck you, Steven."

"I wonder if she owns any really fragile shoes..."

"I'm driving my own car. You will walk."

"Nah, I'll look around. She's probably got a carpet in the living room."

"I hate you."


End file.
